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Britney Watch: Spears checks self into rehab (Take two)

February 20, 2007

After the whirlwind weekend of one-day rehab in Antiguan paradise, mental breakdowns, intentional hair loss, tattooing, hospital visits, house-selling and bad wig-wearing at nightclubs, restaurants and poolside, pop starlet/mother Britney Spears has checked into rehab at the behest of her family and friends, TMZ reports this afternoon.

Britney in crowd**Breathe** … Let the healing begin, Ms. Spears.

For this blog however, it’s time for the Britney Watch to be re-activated!

TMZ reports this is an in-patient facility in Los Angeles. So this won’t be a “check-in, check-out to go clubbing with Paris Hilton” rehab plan like fellow “axis of evil” member Lindsay Lohan participated in.

From their report:

A rep for the singer told PEOPLE “Britney Spears has voluntarily checked herself into an undisclosed rehab facility today. We ask that the media respect her privacy as well as those of her family and friends at this time.”

LAist blog is running a contest — a Britney rehab pool, if you will — to guess how long she’ll stay in treatment. Better get your guess in now before she goes a-runnin’… It is the second attempt at rehab since her family intervened on Valentine’s Day, Access Hollywood is reporting.

More Britney news after the jump. For more of this blog’s Britney coverage, check out our Britney Watch section, or subscribe to our RSS feed!

Here’s a quick rundown of the Britney Spears’ buzz around the Internet, who is the No. 1 search on the Internet Wednesday (listed at Technorati):

bullet CUSTODY SWITCHEROO: The UK fame blog Fametastic is reporting that plans may be in the works to bring in Spears’ mom Lynne to take care of her children in the near-term, and possibly the long-term as their guardian, thwarting ex-hubby Kevin Federline’s efforts to take them in a custody battle:

Kevin pledged to fight for custody of 17 months old Sean and 5 month old Jayden when Britney specified she wanted full legal and physical custody when she filed for divorce last November. According to the Sun, his legal team have been closely watching Britney’s constant partying since then in order to portray her as a bad mother when the case comes to court.

Lynne Spears arrived in Los Angeles last week to supplement the care given to the boys by nannies. A source told the newspaper: “Britney has called in her mum to make sure nobody can accuse her of neglecting her children. She is terrified that Kevin will take them.”

bullet A DRUG DODGE?: Entertainment Tonight reported Wednesday that Britney’s haircutting may have been a drastic attempt to avoid a drug test that Federline’s lawyers were pursuing (wanting a hair follicle sample). Both sides deny this, and I doubt it too. Besides, you can use any hair on the body for a toxic screening, or a blood test if a court mandates it.

Destroying the hair is a long-shot, and the court can just buy it on eBay, right (or confiscate it as evidence)?

bullet CAMP SPEARS?: FOX News celeb columnist Roger Freidman wonders if Britney’s going down the Anna Nicole Smith road with her recent behavior. Also, he wonders if Justin Timberlake will be on his way back to Spears, and if Britney’s summer camp will come to fruition.

Summer camp?! Let’s hope cosmetology is not one of the offered sessions, or I’d be asking for a refund.

From the column:

Even motherhood doesn’t seem interesting to Spears. How could it? The drama of being followed, of enticing paparazzi and tabloids to comment on her latest move, is far more interesting than reading to a child, changing a diaper or playing with a baby.

What’s next for Britney? She’s had two marriages and two pregnancies, so that’s been done. Expect next a reunion of some kind with Justin Timberlake, who’ll be humming “What Goes Around Comes Around” as he plays white knight, dances Spears off to rehab and launches yet another round of tabloid headlines.

Meanwhile, it’s a little unclear — given the head shaving, tattoo burning, etc. — whether or not there will be a Britney Spears Summer Camp for Performing Arts this season.

In 2004, according to federal tax records, Spears parked $1.3 million in a tax-free foundation and spent around $265,000 on the camp. The camp’s application asked potential admittees to rate their “personal habits” and “social maturity.”

bullet BRITNEY LOOK-ALIKE FUN: We had our fun with our readers and their look-alike suggestions. Another blog, Apropos of Something, has the Top Eight Women Who Look Better Bald Than Britney. I completely forgot about Sigourney Weaver in “Alien 3”.

bullet ONE BRIGHT LIGHT FROM LATE NIGHT: I do have to give credit where credit is due. Craig Ferguson, host of CBS’ Late Late Show, passed on the very easy chance to make fun of Ms. Spears on Monday’s show. He credited his reluctance to comment on his own experience with alcoholism. A class act.

Here’s the clip from YouTube, in which he goes after the media for the Anna Nicole Smith craziness and so on (embedding is disabled…you gotta go there to see it). He even has trouble getting the audience to stop laughing and be serious.

From the Access Hollywood story:

“For me, comedy should have a certain amount of joy in it,” Ferguson said. “It should be about attacking the powerful — the politicians, the Trumps, the blowhards — going after them. We shouldn’t be attacking the vulnerable.”

Ferguson recalled his battle with alcoholism and said he worried Spears was having troubles of her own.

“Now I’m not saying Britney is alcoholic, I don’t know what she is — alcoholic or not — but she clearly needs help,” he said.

Again, a very good man to take the high road.

Of course, David Letterman, whose Worldwide Pants production company owns the Late Late Show, was not as nice.

“It was so cold, that Britney Spears got chapped head,” Letterman quipped in his monologue on the “Late Show” Monday night.

bullet CRUNCH TIME FOR SPEARS: Leave it to the American Hockey League to make waves with the Britney breakdown.

Crunch logoThe Syracuse Crunch has offered Spears an all-expenses paid weekend in chilly Syracuse and tickets to a Crunch game for her and her handlers so she could get away from the paparazzi.

Also, the entire front-office staff has offered to shave their heads in sympathy if Spears accepts their offer. That takes guts (and razors….lots of razors).

But, even if she doesn’t show (not likely with rehab), any bald-headed ladies that show at their Feb. 24 game against the Manitoba Moose will get in free.

So they got that going for them…which is nice…but what is a “crunch” anyway? Looks like some kind of yeti to me.

bullet Trump!BRITNEY STYLE TRUMPED?: Will Donald Trump sport the Britney bald look after Wrestlemania? As part of the storyline for World Wrestling Entertainment’s huge extravaganza in Detroit’s Ford Field April 1, owner Vince McMahon will put up his locks against Trump’s in a loser-loses-hair match, to be shaved post-match live.

No, the two won’t grapple each other … they will each choose wrestlers to fight on their behalf. But if I’m the referee, I’m checking Trump’s hair at ringside for hidden foreign objects.

bullet SHORN IN THE USA: After all this coverage of the actual cutting and selling of Britney’s locks, I think the stories about reasons why Spears cut her hair are the most intriguing:

  • The Times of London posted a piece that stated that the haircutting and partying is just a way for her to rebel from her parents and her constructed pop-star image, which never let her have a wild-child childhood.
  • The Baltimore Sun has a column that says Spears’ cutting shows strength and her wanting of people to love her and not her image. The act can also be empowering, the article states, but could also be a last-ditch cry for help.

bullet AND FINALLY … Britney’s hair a solo artist? No, not really. But nice satire by The Spoof blog … “Already pre-orders of the hairs’ single “Hair We Go” have reached 100,000.” Funny.

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2 Comments
  1. February 22, 2007 12:46 am

    And she’s out again. In fairness, the girl’s not the brightest porch light on the block, so maybe she’s just having trouble counting to 28 days.

    “Uh, wun. Um, twenny-ayght?”

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