E-mail: Pennsylvanians are cold warriors
Got an e-mail from a friend today — Lt. Britt Rounds from the Pa. National Guard, who is stationed over in Afghanistan fighting the war on terror (no, not all by herself…she brings reinforcements. Or else it would be an “Army of Britt,” and that’s not a very good marketing slogan).
She is amused by our reaction to the recent cold snap here in the Susquehanna Valley, which has had temperatures in the single digits over the past week.
Add about two inches of snow onto that overnight. Where’s this global warming I’ve been hearing about, eh?
So, she sent me this list of true Pennsylvanians’ reaction to the cold at various levels. (I think this is a e-mail that’s been sent around awhile, but hey, funny nonetheless…)
Thanks Lieutenant. Stay safe over there.
- @ +70 degrees Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in Pennsylvania go swimming in the (Three) Rivers.
- @ +60 degrees North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
People in Pennsylvania plant gardens.
- @ +50 degrees Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Pennsylvania sunbathe.
- @ +40 degrees Italian & English cars won’t start.
People in Pennsylvania drive with the windows down.
- @ +32 degrees Distilled water freezes.
Susquehanna River water gets thicker.
- @ +20 degrees Floridian’s don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats.
People in Pennsylvania throw on a flannel shirt.
- @ +15 degrees New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Pennsylvania have the last cookout before it gets cold.
- @ +10 degrees People in Miami all die.
Keystoners lick the flagpole.
- @ 0 degrees Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Pennsylvania get out their winter coats.
- @ -10 degrees Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Pennsylvania are selling cookies door to door.
- @ -25 degrees Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Pennsylvania Boy Scouts postpone “Winter Survival” classes until it really gets cold enough.
- @ -30 degrees Mount St. Helen’s freezes.
People in Pennsylvania rent some videos.
- @ -40 degrees Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Keystoners get frustrated be cause they can’t thaw the keg.
- @ -45 degrees Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Pennsylvania complain about farmers with cold hands.
- @ -60 degrees ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People in Pennsylvania start saying, “Cold ’nuff for ya?”
- @ -100 degrees Hell freezes over.
The Philadelphia Eagles win the Super Bowl.
And it’s funny … Lt. Rounds is a HUGE Eagles fan … I’m surprised she didn’t edit that last one out. Makes me look at my Steelers Super Bowl XL Champions pennant with a warm toasty feeling.