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The Federline flu pandemic

November 7, 2006

I need to take a pause from our serious Election 2006 coverage to address a seriously-disturbing issue in the blogosphere.

I’m starting to sense a sickness on the Internet. It comes in the form of Kevin Federline hype.

K-Fed, comin' at ya!Who is Kevin Federline, you may ask?

He’s nobody important. Just the former backup dancer husband of former pop hottie Britney Spears. Yes, two “formers”, which isn’t a good combo in Hollywood.

But the MSM hype machine will try to make you believe otherwise. The hypesters will have you believe Federline (or “K-Fed” as he prefers) is the next rap superstar, like Eminem.

K-Fed, I own several Eminem albums. I saw Eminem’s stellar pseudo-biography movie “8 Mile.” You are no Eminem.

MSNBC’s excellent gossiper Jeannette Walls reports that Federline had to beg a New York City club not to cancel his concert, despite only selling 300 of the 1,500 available tickets.

It didn’t get much better when K-Fed finally got on stage, reports Walls:

Federline’s performance has been described as “mercifully short.” Britney Spears’s hubby only rapped for about half an hour and, reports one eyewitness, “seemed really confused about how to act on stage. He would pace from one side of the stage to the other, just saying things like, ‘Hey’ thirty times in a row or ‘New York, thank you for coming — buy my CD.’ ”

And now, with K-Fed also making cameo “heel” appearances on World Wrestling Entertainment programming, threatening to wrestle the WWE champion John Cena on live TV in December, one can only hope that Federline ego gets knocked a peg down.

But the sad thing is: Federline is BELIEVING his own hype. Check out this Walls report on an interview K-Fed did with Entertainment Weekly:

When asked to name the most underrated performer in his field, K-Fed paused for about 12 seconds then replied: “Me.”

Just let my brain explode now. To see this “rapper” performing attempting to perform in public is an adventure in itself (see this video of K-Fed in his debut at the Teen Choice Awards). Federline is so awkward to watch, he looks like a bad karaoke singer. I just hope this all passes without anyone getting hurt.

But first, a clip of K-Fed’s in-ring accomplishments against John Cena, which would make Andy Kaufman proud.

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